Something about Episode 41 of Grey's Anatomy...

During the 2nd season of Grey’s Anatomy, Izzie fell in love with one of her patients - Denny Duquette - who is suffering from a heart condition. In order to get a heart for Denny, Izzie cuts his LVAD wire to worsen his condition but Lizzie made sure, that Dr, Burke (Head of Cardiothoracics) will be able to save him. Denny did get the heart and proposes to Izzie, but he also died afterwards. Because of this Izzie admitted that she was the one who cut the LVAD wire and left the internship program.

Excerpt from Grey’s Anatomy (Season 3, Episode Title: Oh, The Guilt, Episode No:41)

Izzie: I have 8 million dollars.
Chief: So I’ve heard.
Izzie: I can do anything I want.
Chief: Just about.
Izzie: And all I wanna do is a running whip stitch,
Chief: My first year as an intern I had a stable cardiac patient who blew out his lung while I was transporting to CT and I called in a code, but by the time they got there he was dead. If I had put a chest tube in right away--
Izzie: You made a mistake.
Chief: But I stayed and I worked and I learned. I never made that mistake again. If I had quit, all I would have had was that life that I lost instead I get to save lives. Everyday I get to save lives.

If we fail and then stop trying, there is a possibility where we will be remembered as someone who (please insert failure/mistake/error) and be disappointed all of our life. But if we moved on and learn from the oversight we made, we will have the chance to succeed, be happy and we might even save lives (by helping others by not making the same mistakes we did).

So the moral of the story: Learn from the mistakes we made and move on

Something about this day...

I admit, I am a total clutz. Marami na akong nabasag na pinggan, baso at bote ng soft drinks. Ilang beses na rin akong nadapa at natapilok. I also lack sense of direction at ilang beses na rin ako naligaw (this is another story), pero ngayong araw na to nagasgasan ang tuhod ko...



Though maliit lang ang sugat ko, makirot din naman ito... pero walang sinabi ang naramdaman ko sa naramdamang takot ng mga kababayan natin sa makati ngayong hapon.

Around lunch time, I heard my uncle saying there's a coup d'é·tat attempt at Makati held by the Magdalo Group. I immediately went to GMA and ABS-CBN's web site to find out what was really going on. I learned that Senator Antonio Trillanes and Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim were calling for the resignation of the President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Sen. Trillanes was allegedly involved in the Oakwood Mutiny in July 2003. The duo was supported by former Vice President Teofisto Guingona and if I my memory serves me right, they marched up from Makati Trial Court (where the trial for the Oakwood Mutiny was held) to Manila Peninsula. I was scared of what was happening and my primarily concern was the safety of my friends (who are in makati area) and the possible effects of these events in the economy and the political stability of the country. The government gave them an ultimatum to surrender at 3 pm.

Later in the afternoon, I received a phone call from one of my friends saying that they received an email from HR that all night shift employees are advised not to come to work that day. I immediately tuned in to the latest news and found out that:

1. Trillanes and company are already inside Manila Peninsula Hotel
2. Manila Peninsula's guests are being evacuated from its premise but media personalities refused to leave.
3. A tank entered Manila Peninsula's lobby and the Special Weapons and Tactics commandos (SWAT) were outside Manila Pen to arrest the rebel soldiers, they were wearing gas masks.
4. Tear gas were fired inside the hotel. According to the news, gunshots were also heard.
5. Eventually, the rebel soldiers surrendered. Trillanes said that they decided to come out for the safety of the civilians.

After they surrendered, media men who stayed at the hotel's premise were arrested and the videos they got were allegedly confiscated. Defense Secretary Gilberto Teodoro said that they received an information that some rebel soldiers might disguised themselves as members of the media and that is the reason why they took into custody the journalists still present in the location. Later, it was also announced that there will be a curfew starting at 12 midnight to 5am. It was a good thing that all night shift workers are exempted from this. At least we know that some business will still function normally.

Some people were also thankful for the presence of the media men during the siege. They felt that without them, it might have ended with blood shed. The event that occurred today brought up different points of views. Some believed that it was necessary and others thought that it was a waste of time that caused an abrupt business and brought in another reason why the country is unstable.

At the moment, I am just relieved that no one was hurt during the incident. I just hope that the same will be said to our country.

Something about an Old Email...

I was reading through my old email and found this from one of my classmates.

"naks! kaiyak naman.. uy, clasmeyts sori kung d ko kyo naapproach nung nglight ng candle, ksi ayoko ng umiiyak. gusto ko laging masaya.. anyway, i-take ko na ang chance na 'to to really say how much thankful i am to be part of 4e2.. maraming maraming salamat clasmeyts kasi pinakisamahan nyo ko for 1 whole year khit na sobrang gago ko.. Thank you kalai na laging nagtatantrums pero mabait..neena na palangiti and sobrang approachable..gian b. na hanep sa kakulitan..,madee na tahimik pero galing sumayaw and matalino..g-anne na masungit sa umpisa pero mabait pag nakilala mo na..jihanne na sobrang hanga ako sa pagkareligious and cyempre sobrang bait..ryan na pasaway class pero game nman sa lhat ng school activities.. evanene na matalino at mabait pero deaf and blind pala..joke..nina c. na katakot pero ok ksama at tunay na kaibigan..che na intimidating sa start pero grabe pala ang bait,looks can be deceiving ika nga..marc na sobrang dedicated sa trabaho..gian e. na ok ksama at kausap.. glaiza na sobrang tahimik pero sobra namang bait talo pa c mother teresa..ronchie na astig sa lhat ng bagay..mer na kikay,astig tumawa and sobrang ok rin kasama.. mike na idol ko sa sobrang responsible..kat na sobrang hinhin pero magaling sa class..jill na super sarap kasama and mother na mother talagang magcare..viel na beauty and brain..maebelle na makulit, cute and beautiful in and out..des na outspoken and mabait..francis na y-speaker and astig rin sa kabaitan..pauline na matalino and approachable, pearl na true THOMASIAN may puso, talino at cyempre katawan na ginagamit sa paglilingkod sa DIYOS,TAO at sa BAYAN..trapper na pasaway pero astig naman sa mga ideas and opinions.. lou na future sister calalo and grabe rin sa pagiging approachable..rhealyn na isa pang makulit and super saya kasama..richelle na mukhang mataray pero ok palang kasama and cyempre one of the beautiful girls in e2..kathleen syjuco na hayop sa katalinuhan..cara na isa ring katakot sa umpisa pero ok rin palang kasama at kaibigan..effie na sobrang tinis ng boses, pero in fairness mabait and laging nandyan ..anne and mahinhin and classic filipina kung gumalaw at magsalita.. pam na always there to listen and to help.. and nina v. na good leader at serbisyong totoo. I know na magiging bihira ko na lang kayo makikita pero tandaan nyo na never ko kayo makakalimutan kasi you all have been part of my life..(",) "

... parang kailan lang nung nag aaral pa ako... I miss school

Something about Practice Shots...

Wala ako magawa pag kagising ko so nag take na lang ako ng pictures habang umaambon...

By far, this is my favorite photo... I took this few weeks ago...

Something about Conducting my First Interview...

I was asked by my manager to join them in conducting the interview of one of the applicants for the research analyst position that was posted more than a week ago. I will be part of a panel, which consists of my manager and senior analyst.

I was both excited and scared during the interview. Excited because it's my first and scared because she might notice my inexperience with the process. Though, I have acted as a pseudo recruitment specialist when my dad asked me to help him prepare his students for their job interview, this is totally different. During the simulated interview with my dad, it was easier for me. I don’t really need to assess whether applicant’s personality and capabilities fits what we are really looking for. I just asked them a couple of questions usually asked during interview and afterwards, gave them an advice what the company looks for and the answers they usually want to hear. During the “real” interview, I have to help our manager and senior analyst to determine if the applicant would perform well in the job or if she would enjoy what we do and if she will be able to interact well with the rest of the group.

Before, I would often tell my family and friends that it would be nice to work in the Human Resource Department because I will have to power to hire or fire an individual. Little did I know that the initial process of screening out applicants proved to be really hard since you have to get to know the personality and the capability of the applicant during that 30 minutes interview.

Well, I just hope that whomever we choose, he/she will adapt well and easily with the new environment that he/she will be put into.

Something about Old Photos..

I was looking through my files and found this photo I had with a friend. It was taken in April 2006 at Montemar beach in Bataan during our company outing. We were wearing our "I love New York" T-Shirt that was given to us as a "pasalubong" from our boss in NY.


More than a year after....


Looking at these photos made me realize that although a lot of things has changed, there are some other things that will remain the same.

Something about an Attempt to Write a Short Story...

“I have moved on” I said laughing “Ilang beses na ba ako nasaktan? I’m used to this”

“Somehow I am having trouble believing that” Patty said “Because if you really are, you wouldn’t say that, on and on, as if you are trying to make yourself believe”

“Ewan ko sayo, pero yun ang totoo!” Well, kung ayaw nila maniwala, bakit tanong pa sila ng tanong, I just said to myself. Yes, he was my first boyfriend but it doesn’t mean that it was the first time I fell in love. They should have known that!

“O ba’t nakakunot na yang noo mo” Mitchie said “napipikon ka na no?”

“kasi naman, what’s the use of asking kung hindi naman kayo naniniwala”

“Tanya, I’ve known you since High School. I know when you’re happy, when you’re sad or when you are pretending to be happy” Patty said “And clearly this is one of those days”

“Bahala kayo if that’s how you think, but I am over it! Believe it or not”

“Well, if that’s what you say”

I met Mitchie when we were in 5th Grade, she was one of the smarter kids and I was, well, one of the irresponsible ones. I have always joked that I have a Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday sickness, I am not sure how we came to be friends, but I’m sure glad we did. Patty, or Pat as we fondly calls her, was my High School seatmate, and like Mitchie, I considers her as one of my best friends.

“so ano na? Aamin ka na ba? Pat said laughing. They know they are right and that I am still affected with what happened to me recently. I’ve broken up with my friend turned boyfriend and the sad part is, the relationship did not even last more than a month. I ended up having a failed relationship and lost a friend that is really important to me.

I met him at work. Most people weren’t surprise when we started “seeing” each other. The chemistry was always there, we would just wind up together talking about a lot of things, without even noticing that are officemates are actually looking at us, and having various discussions, when there will be an us. As quickly as it started, the relationship turned sour right after I said yes. The expectations we had from one another was too much that we hadn’t expected that it would be something we wouldn’t meet. We would fight every week, about subjects that never bothered us before. We would often question our love for one another and the fight incessantly about small things. The worst part was when we call each other names and just ended up hurting one another.

Mitchie and Patty were right. I still think of him but as much as they wanted to hear it, all I can do is lie, and hope the maybe someday, I might get myself to believe the words I constantly say – I have moved on, ilang beses na ba ako nasaktan? I’m used to this.

Something about this Weekend's Boredom...

Since I bought a new toy (my new camera), I have been living in a budget and I just can't wait until our next pay day. I can't wait to indulge myself with a macchiato or a frapuccino at my resident caffeine provider - Starbucks. I used to go there two to three times a week (I know it is too much), but now, I was forced to limit my visits to none. To defend myself, coffee at Starbucks is really effective. I don't know why, but it really makes me wide a wake unlike any other coffee I have consumed. As a night shift employee, this is really essential.

For the meantime, I halted my usual weekend trip at the mall or at the gym and busied myself with books, computers and of course, learning photography. I must admit that staying at home had been a different experience for me. Before, I was completely satisfied staying put. I never felt a nagging feeling that I should be somewhere else and doing something different. I used to welcome the time to relax but now, I was constantly trying to think about ways to keep me going.

When I started this blog, I said that I want to figure things out in a slightly altered perspective and that I'd like to get to know myself better. My experience that lead me to be this way still haunts me until today, especially this weekend since I don't have the luxury of having a planned activity that forced me to reflect.

As much as I wanted to say that I am "completely ok!", I am not. I am still healing and learning to cope up with everything. Clearly, the flicker of hope that I wanted to extinguish, is still burning in me. I just hope that someday, I would say, that "all the disappointments and all those tears are I have shed are all worth it!", because I have emerged to be a stronger, better and happier person because of it.

Something about this weekend's boredom? well, it made me remember who, what, when and why I began to act like this.

Something about Undas...

Undas a.k.a All Saints Day is a widely celebrated feast in the Philippines. It is the time when we usually visit the graves of our departed family and friends to offer prayers, flowers and love to show that they are still remembered.


When i was younger, we used to go to Sto. Tomas, Batangas to visit "Super Lolo" (my grand father's dad). Undas was like Christmas to me because I would be spending the whole day visiting relatives (dead or alive) and the rest of the day at "Pansol", a hot spring near Batangas. My lolo (Grand pa) and lola (Grand ma) would indulge themselves with the hot water flowing at pansol and my mom, her siblings and their husbands/wives would spend time with their children while and at times, spending a couple of their time near the pool, for a massage. I remember having the time of my life that even at my sleep, I could still feel that I am floating, surrounded by hot waters and laughers from my cousins and my whole family. This tradition continued until it was decided to transfer Super Lolo's remains to his hometown at Tupi, Cotabato.


This year, we celebrated Undas with our family. We were no longer at Batangas and we didn't spend the rest of the day at Pansol but we still celebrated it with our Family, having the time of our life, just as it should be.