Since I bought a new toy (my new camera), I have been living in a budget and I just can't wait until our next pay day. I can't wait to indulge myself with a macchiato or a frapuccino at my resident caffeine provider - Starbucks. I used to go there two to three times a week (I know it is too much), but now, I was forced to limit my visits to none. To defend myself, coffee at Starbucks is really effective. I don't know why, but it really makes me wide a wake unlike any other coffee I have consumed. As a night shift employee, this is really essential.
For the meantime, I halted my usual weekend trip at the mall or at the gym and busied myself with books, computers and of course, learning photography. I must admit that staying at home had been a different experience for me. Before, I was completely satisfied staying put. I never felt a nagging feeling that I should be somewhere else and doing something different. I used to welcome the time to relax but now, I was constantly trying to think about ways to keep me going.
When I started this blog, I said that I want to figure things out in a slightly altered perspective and that I'd like to get to know myself better. My experience that lead me to be this way still haunts me until today, especially this weekend since I don't have the luxury of having a planned activity that forced me to reflect.
As much as I wanted to say that I am "completely ok!", I am not. I am still healing and learning to cope up with everything. Clearly, the flicker of hope that I wanted to extinguish, is still burning in me. I just hope that someday, I would say, that "all the disappointments and all those tears are I have shed are all worth it!", because I have emerged to be a stronger, better and happier person because of it.
Something about this weekend's boredom? well, it made me remember who, what, when and why I began to act like this.
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